K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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