you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
