You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
