we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
