went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
