clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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