I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
They have beer where we have blood.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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