Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
