So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
