Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
