Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This girl is more easily done than said...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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