There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
