gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize