Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
