office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
