Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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