have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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