Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize