I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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