Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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