Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
