like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
