My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
