its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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