Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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