But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
