We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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