Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
