I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just google imaged poop.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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