you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
