I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
