One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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