STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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