Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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