Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
