I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
