don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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