you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
