We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize