kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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