Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
