plz talk dirty to me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't deserve a penis
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
