The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Actions speak louder than pants.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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