Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
