Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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