batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
A bitchslap is in order.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
