Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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