just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
COCAINE IS GR8
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
