ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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