If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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