He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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