so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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