North Korea, Best Korea!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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