at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
