Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
