last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
