I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
