You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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