Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
