Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize