Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize