What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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