Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
