This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Acid is not a monday night drug
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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