you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
