FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
