the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
