Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
