When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
