Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
