So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has the fingertips of a God
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
