Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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