Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
